雅思G類大作文真題7分范文分析-行萬里路

題目：Today more people are travelling than ever before.

Why is this the case?

What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

考官評語：考生英語水平很好，但是由于沒有認真讀題和合理分段而丟分。本文很好地回應了題目中的第一個問題，分析和討論了遠距離和當地出行增長的原因。但是完全沒有回應題中提到的”對出行者的好處”，所以TR分數較低。行文有邏輯，觀點之間連接流暢，但是沒有分段，影響讀者了解主要觀點。語言表達豐富、自然、準確。沒有明顯的詞匯或語法錯誤，只有標點和拼寫方面的小錯誤。

題型：Report

關鍵詞：more people, travelling, than before, why, benefits...for the traveller

簡析：認真讀題很重要。范文考生根本就沒看到第二個問題。

而你，在考場上是否會只泛談“出行的好處”而忽略了“對出行者好處”？——實際上，這是個偽問題，陷阱在于對‘travel’的理解。很多考生習慣把travel理解為“旅行”，甚至等同于“旅游”，然而在劍橋詞典中，‘travel’的例句包括：

1.Between?school?and?university, she?spent?a?year?travelling,?mostly?in?Africaand?Asia.中學畢業后，她在上大學以前花了1年時間旅行，主要是在非洲和亞洲。

2.I travel?to?work?by?train. ?我乘火車上班。

3.He travelled over 1,000?miles?to be at the?wedding.他從1000多英里外過來參加婚禮。

此外，劍橋詞典對‘traveller’的解釋可能更有助于我們理解該詞與旅游的關系：

This?hotel?is for?serious?travellers,?rather?than?tourists?on two-week?holidays.這家旅館接待真正熱衷旅行的人士，而不是那些度假兩星期的游客。

再來看朗文詞典對‘travel’的英英解釋：to go from one place to another, or to?several?places, especially ones that are?far?away。

由此可見，‘travel’是指長途的出行，有旅游的含義，但不完全是。

很多考生覺得自己寫作丟分丟的莫名其妙，其實很可能就是因為沒有充分回應題目提到的內容，和/或，對關鍵詞會錯了意。

此外，問題benefits是復數，因此要說2個以上，原因通常也要至少2個。針對題中的than ever before, 在展開論述過程中要注意描述變化，恰當使用時態以展示語法多樣性。

以下為正文

Today more people are travelling than ever before. The reasons for this increase are many and varied.

On ?a simplistic level, there are larger numbers of means of transportation
-? there are more cars, buses and trains in operation. However, the
sheer number of transportation means is not enough to explain this
increase. The cost of traveling even though it is at present increasing
due to an economic slowdown globally; is still relatively affordable to
many people. This affordability is further enhanced by the use of credit
cards and loans in order to fund travel, especially for holiday
purposes.

An ?increase of travel companies in competition with each other has also
helped bring package prices down, while an increase in the number of
operating flights globally has also increased, giving rise to falling
air-fare prices. In addition, people now have more leisure time and
disposable incomes. The combination of these two variables with
unrelenting advertising campaigns from travel companies and cruise ship
operators arguably leads to an increase in the number of people
travelling, in this case for holiday purposes.

Another ?reason why people travel is going to work. More than ever before,
people are travelling greater distances to get to work. Large industrial
sites fo both service and production industries are tending to be
located outside city areas. This invariably leads to increase in the
number of people travelling locally.

In ?conclusion, there are many reasons why more people are travelling both
internationally and locally, for business and for leisure. What is sure
is that this increase is likely to continue until travelling at current
rates is no longer economically viable.

本文字數：271 words

觀點與話題詞匯整理
交通方式多樣	means of transportation cars, buses and trains in operation
出行成本降低	the cost of travelling economic slowdown relatively affordable affordability credit cards loans for holiday purpose
企業價格競爭	travel companies package holiday 跟團游 air-fare prices機票價格
有閑有錢	leisure time more disposable incomes更多可支配收入 advertising campaigns廣告宣傳 cruise ship
上班遠	travel great distances service industries 服務業 production industries 生產制造業 increase in 某方面的增長
不只學表達也是思考角度： both nationally and locally for business and for leisure